Paris Hilton to punish America with another CD...

That's right, Paris Hilton is in the studio screeching her way through recording a brand new CD, and when she doesn't have enough inspiration, she simply hits her Twitter page to ask her followers for help. "Hey Everyone, just in the studio working on more music. What kind of subjects do you guys think would make great song..."

Dear God, Paris! Really? You are asking your followers on Twitter for help on what would make a great song? The number one place I could think to turn for music writing advice would be your followers: a bunch of sex-obsessed guys and teenage girls who think "loves it" is still in. Why would you turn to a lyricist? That would be too smart.

Yes, they do say the stars are blind, but so is America if we actually go out and purchase another horrible excuse of a CD trying to pass as pop music. Paris, stick to what you know: looking cute, pouting your lips, and causing a scandal.

Heidi Montag's CD drops after 3 years and over $1 million...

That's right Candy Eaters, the day you have ALL been waiting for has finally arrived! Heidi Montag has released her CD!!! It's called Superficial and she is going to finally be able to show the world how talented she is! Now please, don't hyperventilate from excitement, the good news doesn't stop here. A new song called "I'll Do It", has dropped and it features such awe inspiring lyrics as:

Pick me, take me, off up into ya dungin
I brought some treats
I know that you gon love em
Come eat my panties off of me
Do whatever you feel comes naturally

She worked really hard on those. The tune is Spencer and Heidi's new love anthem. Now to all you haters out there, Heidi has worked tirelessly on this album and deserves your respect! She produced and released the CD herself on her own record label, and worked to make sure it would rival Britney Spears (!). She told Entertainment Weekly, "I've spent over a million, almost $2 million on this album. It's cost as much or more than a Britney Spears album, because I wanted it to be that quality and to be able to get those people. My album would have cost a record label over $4 million."

Thank God she spent so much money making sure the quality and sound are so perfect! The production value really lets her artistry shine. She worked on the CD for 3 years after all, making sure that she poured every ounce of her "heart and soul into this music". She dug deep down into her soul and came up with "eat my panties off of me"...

Heidi is confident that everyone is going to run out and buy her music, and that she will recoup all her investments and more, making a huge profit on the endeavor. Not only will people buy her music she predicts, but her "songs will make an impact in pop history. They are absolutely incredible..." You can't even make this stuff up.

Concerning the title, she told People magazine that Superficial is "the world I live in and how people think I am but it's really just the surface. People are just getting to know a whole new Heidi." Meanwhile, the 23 year old recently went under the plastic surgery knife again having 10 procedures done at once (giving new meaning to a "whole new Heidi") including breast enhancement, chin reduction, nose reduction and more. She says she not only loves plastic surgery, but that she's "beyond obsessed" with it. Heidi Montag superficial? No...

She hopes to outshine current pop-stars by becoming the world's first "galaxy star". 

But seriously, Heidi Montag sucks. Her CD isn't good either.

Hear Heidi's new song, and see her bomb performance on Miss Universe after the jump...

January 5th, The Candy Shop...

The Candy Shop

-Vince Vaughn got married to his long time girlfriend Kyla Weber this past Saturday. The two had a private ceremony with only their closest friends invited. And no, Jennifer Aniston did not show up in black. Congratulations to the happy couple!

-Avatar is getting ready to become the second highest grossing film of all time. Will it surpass Titanic though? Read more at THR

-Christina Aguilera is releasing a new CD in March! She just announced that it will be titled "Bionic" and the first track will be "Glam" which is described as a "poppy, hip-hop inflected" number. She collaborates with Goldfrapp, Ladytron and M.I.A on the album. It will be great to hear from her again as "Back to Basics" in 2006 was her last studio release.

-Sean Penn rejoins the cast of the Three Stooges. As originally announced, he will play Larry opposite Benicio Del Toro as Moe, and (reportedly) Jim Carey, as Curly. 

-Sherlock Holmes 2 won't be made if the director continues with his reported homosexual plot line between Holmes and Watson. Robert Downey Jr. said recently in an interview about the film that Holmes is a "very butch homosexual." This has the owner of the Holmes estate up in arms. She said, "I am not hostile to homosexuals, but I am to anyone who is not true to the spirit of the books." Read more at Contact Music