The Oscars go gay...

The Oscars are going full on GAY! After the success of Hugh Jackman's song and dance hosting last year, the Academy has tapped Adam Shankman to produce the 2010 awards show. No host has been named as of yet. The HAIRSPRAY Movie director has had a big week as he was also named the director of the just-optioned stage to screen musical, ROCK OF AGES.

Adam Shankman is a dancer / choreographer that is now also a director / producer having directed BRINGING DOWN THE HOUSE, A WALK TO REMEMBER, and BEDTIME STORIES. You can see his choreography in countless films including cartoons ANASTASIA and ANTZ. He is also a guest judge on "So You Think You Can Dance".

Adam Shankman was last involved in the Oscars in '89, "The last time I was on the show was as a dancer, and to come back as a producer is such an unbelievable honor."

With this song and dance man behind the wheel, it seems the Oscar this year could go to the gays. Perhaps the Academy is admitting that the only people who still watch the show are the gays, or more likely, they are hoping that the HAIRSPRAY movie's audience will tune in. Fingers crossed for a ratings rebound - the Oscars are the Gay Super Bowl after all...

Here's the Prop 8 Musical that Adam Shankman directed for Funny or Die. If the Oscars are anything like this, it's going to be Gay-tastic!

"Prop 8 - The Musical" starring Jack Black, John C. Reilly, and many more... from Jack Black

Crack apparently IS whack...

Whitney Houston has made her big comeback ladies and gentlemen! She is back on the scene and a shining example to today's youth of why they should not do drugs. Ms. Show-Me-the-Receipts herself was on X-Factor in London this past weekend stumbling her way across the stage and through her hit "Million Dollar Bill". By singing live she has single-handedly reminded the general public why we love it when artists lip-sync.

Whitney may be back, but as this performance proves, she is not better than ever. Not only does she not sing half the song, but around 2:21 her dress strap breaks and it looks as if she forgets she is on stage at all. And what is up with those back-up singers?! Did she decide to give her ex-dealers a new job?

At the end of the number the host asks her when her CD is coming out and she can't remember and doesn't seem to understand what he is talking about (the simple answer would have been "tomorrow"). She seems to be too busy eyeing the fake cash on the floor of the stage and thinking of how much crack she can buy with it.

Keep an eye out for her heart stopping microphone-ography as well! It's the one redeeming part of this performance. Girl got some moves!

See for yourself... Crack is whack! Don't do drugs.

You're too skinny...

Health Insurance Companies don't need Obama to tell them how to reform, they are already making changes! They are warning people to watch their weight. Last week in Colorado, Alex Lange (a 4month old baby) was denied coverage for being too fat. ZING! That'll teach him to lay off the canned peas!

This week in the same state, Aislin Bates has been informed that she is too skinny. She weighs 22lbs and is 2 years old. That bitch. The average weight for a 2 year old girl is about 28lbs. Basically, she is 22% below her target weight.

After seeing this, I'm really getting worried about Hollywood! By this logic, half of Tinseltown's big stars should not be covered. What about Reneé Zellweger? She can't weigh much more than 22lbs. Or Madonna... Angelina "I'm going to have kids till I'm happy" Jolie.... any model on the runway today.... Too skinny = DENIED! Before you know it, your favorite movie star may be without health insurance!

The health insurance industry is trying to send a loud and clear message to the world:

"YOU MUST WEIGH WHAT EVERYONE ELSE WEIGHS TO BE HEALTHY (AKA: GET HEALTH INSURANCE)!"

They are setting the trends. Skinny is out / Average is in. Thanks United HealthCare!

Meanwhile, Hollywood is taking the hint. On the set of her newest movie Listen to Me, I'm Saying Something That Will Change Your Life, Megan Fox has been ordered by the studio to gain weight. They released a statement saying that the insurance companies won't cover her until she is at her average weight.

And all the straight guys groan...