Wednesday, October 21, 2009

You're too skinny...




Health Insurance Companies don't need Obama to tell them how to reform, they are already making changes! They are warning people to watch their weight. Last week in Colorado, Alex Lange (a 4month old baby) was denied coverage for being too fat. ZING! That'll teach him to lay off the canned peas!

This week in the same state, Aislin Bates has been informed that she is too skinny. She weighs 22lbs and is 2 years old. That bitch. The average weight for a 2 year old girl is about 28lbs. Basically, she is 22% below her target weight.

After seeing this, I'm really getting worried about Hollywood! By this logic, half of Tinseltown's big stars should not be covered. What about Reneé Zellweger? She can't weigh much more than 22lbs. Or Madonna... Angelina "I'm going to have kids till I'm happy" Jolie.... any model on the runway today.... Too skinny = DENIED! Before you know it, your favorite movie star may be without health insurance!

The health insurance industry is trying to send a loud and clear message to the world:

"YOU MUST WEIGH WHAT EVERYONE ELSE WEIGHS TO BE HEALTHY (AKA: GET HEALTH INSURANCE)!"

They are setting the trends. Skinny is out / Average is in. Thanks United HealthCare!

Meanwhile, Hollywood is taking the hint. On the set of her newest movie Listen to Me, I'm Saying Something That Will Change Your Life, Megan Fox has been ordered by the studio to gain weight. They released a statement saying that the insurance companies won't cover her until she is at her average weight.

And all the straight guys groan...
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