Hope you had a Happy Valentine's Day - xoxo, Ms. Plastic Surgery...

Ms. Plastic Surgery herself, Heidi Montag is hoping that everyone had a Happy Valentine's Day in the most beautiful VD photo shoot you will ever see! It was all put together by her hubby, Spencer Pratt so you know who you need to thank for these shots. In the shoot, the 23 year old shows off her brand new, modern medical miracle body. She recently had 10 plastic surgery procedures done at once, and now looks ah, ah, a-mazing! Her new body doesn't look fake at all, in fact if you didn't already know what she used to look like, you would think she was born that way! Not seeing enough of her in these photos? Not to worry, she recently told Radar Online that she is in talks to pose fully nude for Playboy to show off all that man-made beauty. SWEET!

The full list of work she had done includes a mini brow lift, Botox, nose job, fat injections in her cheeks and lips, a chin reduction, liposuction to her neck, her ears pinned back, buttocks augmentation, liposuction to her waist and thighs and breast augmentation revision according to Radar. She is still planning on getting more work done in the future, "I would like to get my breasts re-done because I couldn't get them the size I wanted because they couldn't fit." Thank God. The first thing anyone thinks when they see her new look is, "Wow, you really need more."

After all the fuss, Heidi wants to remind everyone that "it is who you are on the inside that really matters, this is just the shell at the end of the day." And she wants to remind everyone to buy her CD. You can find it in the $5 bargain bin...

Heidi Montag's CD drops after 3 years and over $1 million...

That's right Candy Eaters, the day you have ALL been waiting for has finally arrived! Heidi Montag has released her CD!!! It's called Superficial and she is going to finally be able to show the world how talented she is! Now please, don't hyperventilate from excitement, the good news doesn't stop here. A new song called "I'll Do It", has dropped and it features such awe inspiring lyrics as:

Pick me, take me, off up into ya dungin
I brought some treats
I know that you gon love em
Come eat my panties off of me
Do whatever you feel comes naturally

She worked really hard on those. The tune is Spencer and Heidi's new love anthem. Now to all you haters out there, Heidi has worked tirelessly on this album and deserves your respect! She produced and released the CD herself on her own record label, and worked to make sure it would rival Britney Spears (!). She told Entertainment Weekly, "I've spent over a million, almost $2 million on this album. It's cost as much or more than a Britney Spears album, because I wanted it to be that quality and to be able to get those people. My album would have cost a record label over $4 million."

Thank God she spent so much money making sure the quality and sound are so perfect! The production value really lets her artistry shine. She worked on the CD for 3 years after all, making sure that she poured every ounce of her "heart and soul into this music". She dug deep down into her soul and came up with "eat my panties off of me"...

Heidi is confident that everyone is going to run out and buy her music, and that she will recoup all her investments and more, making a huge profit on the endeavor. Not only will people buy her music she predicts, but her "songs will make an impact in pop history. They are absolutely incredible..." You can't even make this stuff up.

Concerning the title, she told People magazine that Superficial is "the world I live in and how people think I am but it's really just the surface. People are just getting to know a whole new Heidi." Meanwhile, the 23 year old recently went under the plastic surgery knife again having 10 procedures done at once (giving new meaning to a "whole new Heidi") including breast enhancement, chin reduction, nose reduction and more. She says she not only loves plastic surgery, but that she's "beyond obsessed" with it. Heidi Montag superficial? No...

She hopes to outshine current pop-stars by becoming the world's first "galaxy star". 

But seriously, Heidi Montag sucks. Her CD isn't good either.

Hear Heidi's new song, and see her bomb performance on Miss Universe after the jump...

The scariest Halloween costume for 2009...

If you are looking for the scariest costume idea for 2009, you should dress as Jon and Kate from the reality show train-wreck "Jon and Kate Plus Eight". It's sure to make people scream! They might be screaming things like "Just shut up", "You ruined television", "Our country will never be the same", "Those eight children really have no hope", etc. but they will most definitely scream.
All you need is some Ed Hardy clothes to be Jon, and an animal on your head to play Kate:

Jon Gosselin is the number one reason to never wear Ed Hardy (Pictured here with clothing line founder, Christian Audigier)

Kate is the number one reason to never get your hair cut like this.
No wait, actually the haircut is. It's just scary.
The Kate Gosselin wig is one of the top selling wigs of this season.
Don't Get Sold Out!

Here are some examples of celebrities dressing up as Jon and Kate for Halloween if you still need some inspiration:

Regis and Kelly

Heidi and Spencer

Now that you are all sufficiently scared, have a Happy Halloween!